Tag: intelligence
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Life’s a Beach, with a few owls and some fly burgers
The project to kayak along some of the lake shore of Mozambique has sadly been put on hold – due to the kayaks not arriving from South Africa. We’re closing in on mango season; the unpredictable storms and heavy rains wouldn’t help our efforts. Attempting the expedition for three weeks on canoes made by digging…
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Crocodiles, Music, and a Sorry Sanctuary
I just needed to man up! Whatever I had last night was not malaria. A decent breakfast and a swim in some, apparently crocodile-friendly waters and I am fine. This area of the lake is busy with crocodile. Friends of ours who travelled here with us last night went for a morning walk and reported seeing a small…
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Something to do with a drunk captain…
Something to do with a drunk captain…or at least an extended stop while he visits his mistress(es) – of this I have absolutely no evidence other than everyone talking about it on the ferry like its yesterday’s news. Whatever the reason (I’m blaming mistress number three) the boat is, as usual, delayed. Following a very…
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Where Elephants Once Ruled
On the beach at Ruarwe, along with hundreds of other folk, we loaded our belongings into the rickety boats that realistically in the west would have carried a quota of about 15 folk. We’ve managed to stuff about 40 people on each craft including all manner of bags and suitcases, potato sacks, fish, goats, chickens, and a solar panel…
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Chiefly Politics and Recovery
I would love to say that like my two malaria muppets and the infected leg bandit, that my next few days were a smoke-free, alcohol-free resuscitation period, but I’d be lying. While the chaps have been recovering from their horrid ailments, I have spent the days gargling salty water, popping ibuprofen, rehydrating with powders that…
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Fatal mistakes, losing your jaw in the night….and Roy Hodgson
Baboons kept me awake all night (as well as trying to sleep in the hammock). Hackling, coughing and grunting to each other around the forest floor, it must be a social serenade to them. Shouting in the dark; probably making each other aware of the nearby dangers, they’re quite arrogant in their anti-neighbour behaviour. We…
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Malaria
Bjorn woke up this morning with what he thought was a mild hangover, but quickly within an hour, announced he had malaria. It comes on fast, especially when you’re in somewhat uncomfortable and hot surroundings. Naturally, the young paratrooper was keen to mock and inform Bjorn that he just can’t handle a few shots from the…
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Backpacking Spooners….and Charlie
Charlie was a young Berkshire boy who lost himself backpacking in Malawi over eighteen years ago – back when most of the lakeshore was wild and when backpackers didn’t expect to be lazily-spoon-fed all the secrets that an area has to offer. Queue sweeping statements and controversy…. Having come across a lot of modern backpackers…
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A corpse, a lot of blood, and a Chelsea smile
Back down the river in the bush north of Ruarwe, we found a new splotch of blood on a large rock by the river. This time, it wasn’t from the floods that came spurting out of my finger. Apart from my unfortunate digit, I haven’t called for the medic for many weeks now! On the…
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Perfect for a paddle…and a few cannonballs
As far as we know, and as far as we like to guess, no human has travelled up this river valley since the mid 19th Century. We assume there was some exploration at the time of slavery, and it may even have been used as a route to escape the lakeshore horrors. There really is…
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Look what we found! …and a Side Stabbing Snake
Tasting with their feet, an abundant and colourful butterfly population are constantly around us as we expedite up the river. Green water snakes hunt fish, spiders cast their webs as sails to catch the wind and transport themselves hundreds of miles, the rare blue-faced monkeys that live here (which actually have a red tint in…
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Leopards, Crabs, and Unknown Poison
Last night, Matt cooked dinner. As he picked up some kindling to move it onto the fire, he was bitten or stung by an unknown creepy crawly. A regular occurrence in the wild if you’re not paying a lot of attention. Losing feeling in his hand and with the numbness spreading up his arm, he…
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A thirst-quenching cauldron full of vivid hallucinogens
Sleeping in a hammock is rather good for keeping you off the jungle floor, if you can sleep! It’s perfect for catching a few winks, but to sleep through the muggy night is rather like trying to sleep in a kitchen drawer as someone is trying to close it shut, while at the same time an electric…
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Barbecuing Beer, Intelligent Pigeons and Chuck Norris…
At last! You say. This one isn’t about how terrible humans are to the unfortunate wildlings. I had goaded one of the more social park rangers to join us for a game of shot glass-battleships. It can’t all be elephants and heffalumps when in a colonial-style lodge! After our ranger had energetically announced that together,…
Not a Travel Blog 