Tag: Holiday
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Oh Germany, some road rage, and a schooch
From the south west section of Namibia and Fish River Canyon, in one sentence I’m jumping north east to the Caprivi Strip. This 280 mile-long pan handle, sticks neatly-east out of the side of Namibia and borders at its most easterly end with Zambia. It was created in a way, by some naive Germans in…
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Liquid Insobriety, a Deserted Spa, and a little History
Located in the south of Namibia, close to the border of South Africa, Fish River Canyon is the largest gash in the African continent, and second only in the world to North America’s Grand. During the colonial era, there was much oppression, genocide and marginalisation in Namibia. The colonial authorities (mainly German) in the south…
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Nobody suspects a pigeon….but flamingoes?
We had driven through four landscapes since we left the giant dunes of Sossusvlei. We ambled leisurely through over 120 kilometres down to the coast. Venturing past mountains of rugged rock, more dusty flat pans as far as the eye could see, raggedy, stoned hills covered in tufts of hardy grass, and sporadic, stoic, shadeless,…
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Why did the one-armed man stab the pigeon-killer in the neck?
Side roads, unfit for any mediocre vehicle, lead to places the mind can’t imagine. It’s why we take them. A trip to Diaz Point! Awaiting us was a dilapidated shack of a cafe, some basic, eerily soulless and empty back-packer-esque dorm rooms which were falling apart, a weather-beaten, crumbling house, and some out-buildings which were…
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Leaving the sheep for some sand castles
Swakopsmund is slightly different to other Nambian towns. It has a certain charm about it being on the ocean. It’s a bit like Weston-Super-Mare, but it’s down with the kids. With plenty of busy holiday accommodation, lovely views, fishing trips out to sea, museums, good coffee shops, easy promenades full of arts and crafts wafting…
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Iconic rocks, OCD nooks and Look! A tree!
Packed around forced-manicured grass; a village of A-framed huts and boxy bungalows are agonisingly, tightly and tidily organised into poured concrete conveniences. All anti-organically strewn around an actually rather difficult place to live in an attempt at human consolidation. It just doesn’t quite feel right. When observing the officious people in Namibia in these OCD…
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Hobbits in the desert & checking out the ladies bathroom
It’s as if hobbits built a tiny second home in the desert, with a nod to being OCD and Christian. The accommodation at the border is possibly the most organised, most clean, most “model-village” that I have come across. It’s like a rather useful, miniature Hobbiton with grass that doesn’t quite belong. Welcome to Germany…
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WARNING: CONTAINS MASSIVE SOLIFUGAE…..but there is also a squirrel and a viking)
From Xade (pronounced Kar-déh), along a road with more sand than Sandy McSand’s sand-filled pockets after a day in the sandpit, we covered only 45 kilometers in an hour. Penelope did well, and as the sun began to set we decided to pitch camp in the wilderness buffer area, well before reaching civilisation in the…
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Awkward Nudists! A civilised cornucopia and Tortoise
After the rains, imagine puddles, wet wood, glistening greenery and frolicking beasts – but only for a short while. The sun reasserts it’s magnificence as fast as I can polish off a bag of salt and vinegar crisps. The Kalahari has a few surprises for us and it’s absolute treat. A spectacle that only happens…
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Mother Nature’s ooze
To a certain degree, the Central Kalahari Game Reserve is now familiar territory. While the weather appears to be so consistent in the CKGR, it is astonishing how different the desert can look and feel after visiting it multiple times. No matter what the conditions, or the wilderness, it always demands total respect. This landscape is…
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Fairytales and massive ears
The fourth morning of traversing through the Kalahari began early. The drive was roughly 200 kilometres through more sand and dust and Piper was to be our next camp to the north. Supposedly, we were travelling through one of the beauty spots of the Kalahari. Deception Valley and the iconic salt pans that are a common…
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A shocking privilege
Arriving at the Kutse gate of the Central Kalahari Game Reserve is somewhat of a relief. It’s been an intrepid drive of excitement and expectation, but what’s ahead is what we’ve come for. The drive is about to be left behind and the expedition and task is ahead. Very quickly it becomes apparent that the…
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To the Dessert! With rabies in the moonlight
Jumping back to Botswana, it has been a couple of days drive to reach, in my opinion, the last untouched wilderness on solid ground: The Kalahari dessert…. And it is, the absolute pinnacle of Pavlovas, a stuffed-strudel of a sequel after roaming through the melodramatic peripheral-wilds. It’s a bucket of creme brûlée (my favourite of…
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We Play God
North of Johannesburg is an area famous for a few hot springs. It’s a local tourism hot-spot and nearby is a group of game reserves, holiday accommodations and “wilderness” areas for the creature-comfort-loving nature viewer. It is commercial – with dozens of guides and rangers in each reserve all driving around in well-used vehicles, showing…
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Cocksure expectation & the undeniably strong fragrance of clumsiness
We had just crossed over into Botswana….but these tales are going to jump around, Kris Kross-style, through Southern Africa. I’ve now spent quite a bit of time between Johannesburg, Cape Town and down to Cape L’Agulhas (the most southern tip of the continent), up the Western Cape to the border with Namibia, and a very…
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Riddling hold-ups, 90’s reggae, and some slightly damaged chicken
“Swift” would be a huge overstatement – my passport was even stamped twice (presumably by mistake) as I passed through immigration, but even for the exceptionally efficient, marginally friendly and super-officious Botswana border, it was pain-free and hospitable. We make it out of South Africa without any issues and into new territory. Although crossing over…
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A Bangarang!
Deciding to avoid discussing clients and guests of Go Untamed, doesn’t mean I’m extending the same luxury to my business partner! We’ll suffer together… Bjorn might remind me regularly that what goes on in the bush, stays in the bush….but not for this writer, apparently. Just like running a business in Malawi; it’s never dull.…
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Beard: Back in the Bushveld!
I grew the beard… then chopped back. I have also been getting stuck into and enjoying some pretty hectic lifestyle choices. To keep a long story short, with the help of my recent African expedition partner (Bjorn) we officially set up Go Untamed (www.gountamed.com). Based in Malawi, our business offers wilderness experiences and safaris; bespoke…
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Blog On Pause…
Pausing the blog updates for a little while. All these travels have turned into work, and I’m loving it. The updates will begin again soon with all my adventures around Sub-Saharan Africa. Watch this space…
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Chess? Too dangerous!
Malawians are some of the happiest people on earth. The nation may be amongst the poorest countries on the planet (with one of the lowest per capita incomes in the world), but the humour, the energy, the humanity and the vitality of Malawi is evident everywhere you go. Of course there are the drunks, the corrupt,…
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“This is Africa”….On the Road
After much time off-grid, I’ve a journey through Nkata Bay and on to Lilongwe. It’s almost time to get myself on a plane. I’ve arranged a ride with the mechanical genius, Puncque (pronounced Punk-ee) although typically in Malawian style, he arrives roughly five hours late. I am not exaggerating. This is Africa… Our chariot of…
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The African Barking Spider! (Apologies for this one)
The sounds of the jungle bush in the north are much different to the sounds of the flatter bush lands to the west and to those hectic noises of Nkata Bay on the Lake. Unlike the towns, there is no music being pumped almost 24/7 from dawn break, there is no bustling village near our pillows and…
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Ravin’ Bees and a lot of Gin
The storms have begun and thankfully, we weren’t caught out, floating around on some hefty hollowed-out tree trunks near Mozambique (as we had planned). Plenty has however, been blown off in Nkata Bay. Many flimsy roofs (most of them thatched or corrugated aluminium), boats have been battered and businesses are now busy cleaning and sweeping…
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A geriatric, old swan from Scotland
Although she is reliably late, the Ilala ferry is a stalwart of lakeshore life in Malawi. Overworked engines, (possibly) drunk captains, questionable weather, the economy, people falling over board, a rusty hull and broken steel, pontoons being sailed into and sunk, and loose animals on board could all be blamed for a schedule which, at best,…
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Life’s a Beach, with a few owls and some fly burgers
The project to kayak along some of the lake shore of Mozambique has sadly been put on hold – due to the kayaks not arriving from South Africa. We’re closing in on mango season; the unpredictable storms and heavy rains wouldn’t help our efforts. Attempting the expedition for three weeks on canoes made by digging…
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Crocodiles, Music, and a Sorry Sanctuary
I just needed to man up! Whatever I had last night was not malaria. A decent breakfast and a swim in some, apparently crocodile-friendly waters and I am fine. This area of the lake is busy with crocodile. Friends of ours who travelled here with us last night went for a morning walk and reported seeing a small…
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Something to do with a drunk captain…
Something to do with a drunk captain…or at least an extended stop while he visits his mistress(es) – of this I have absolutely no evidence other than everyone talking about it on the ferry like its yesterday’s news. Whatever the reason (I’m blaming mistress number three) the boat is, as usual, delayed. Following a very…
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Where Elephants Once Ruled
On the beach at Ruarwe, along with hundreds of other folk, we loaded our belongings into the rickety boats that realistically in the west would have carried a quota of about 15 folk. We’ve managed to stuff about 40 people on each craft including all manner of bags and suitcases, potato sacks, fish, goats, chickens, and a solar panel…
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Chiefly Politics and Recovery
I would love to say that like my two malaria muppets and the infected leg bandit, that my next few days were a smoke-free, alcohol-free resuscitation period, but I’d be lying. While the chaps have been recovering from their horrid ailments, I have spent the days gargling salty water, popping ibuprofen, rehydrating with powders that…
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Fatal mistakes, losing your jaw in the night….and Roy Hodgson
Baboons kept me awake all night (as well as trying to sleep in the hammock). Hackling, coughing and grunting to each other around the forest floor, it must be a social serenade to them. Shouting in the dark; probably making each other aware of the nearby dangers, they’re quite arrogant in their anti-neighbour behaviour. We…
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Malaria
Bjorn woke up this morning with what he thought was a mild hangover, but quickly within an hour, announced he had malaria. It comes on fast, especially when you’re in somewhat uncomfortable and hot surroundings. Naturally, the young paratrooper was keen to mock and inform Bjorn that he just can’t handle a few shots from the…
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Backpacking Spooners….and Charlie
Charlie was a young Berkshire boy who lost himself backpacking in Malawi over eighteen years ago – back when most of the lakeshore was wild and when backpackers didn’t expect to be lazily-spoon-fed all the secrets that an area has to offer. Queue sweeping statements and controversy…. Having come across a lot of modern backpackers…
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Life is a holiday, not only two weeks a year
This morning three cruise ships docked downtown and Broadway was bombarded with over 10,000 visitors. A few hundred people live here year round and varied reports average around 2000 in the summer months to cope with the tourism. Like many other towns around Alaska, it survives solely because of cruise ship traffic, much of which…
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