Tag: love
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A thirst-quenching cauldron full of vivid hallucinogens
Sleeping in a hammock is rather good for keeping you off the jungle floor, if you can sleep! It’s perfect for catching a few winks, but to sleep through the muggy night is rather like trying to sleep in a kitchen drawer as someone is trying to close it shut, while at the same time an electric…
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Miniature-stealth scorpions and Schwarzeneaggar-esque Jiminey crickets…
Miniature-stealth scorpions and Schwarzeneaggar-esque Jiminey crickets, hypnotic millipedes and flesh-piercing ants. Nothing in the bush is ever bug proof and whether it be stabbing you with a sting, munching through your skin, shooting some kind of acid onto your skin from its arse or mouth, latching onto your urethra when you pop for a piss,…
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Truly into the wild, and lying to my mother about it…
There is no point in comparing the bush experience we had in Kasungu, near the Zambia border, to what we are enjoying on the northern lake tributary. For one, we’re not concerned about armed poachers. We’re not being naive; we’ll be extremely surprised to find evidence of them here. There should be no elephant as it’s…
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Some more controversy for you…
Before disappearing up a watery gash in the landscape to explore where one of the northern rivers flows into Lake Malawi, we catch our breath and take a chance to soak up some of the scenery near Ruarwe. The village is a typical, lake-shore place. It’s dusty, full of brick buildings with straw roofs. A…
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Hangovers, Goats, and some Freekin Ice!
Leaving over two hours later than scheduled, the “local” boat, as its referred to, took over eleven hours to carry us to Ruarwe at the north end of Lake Malawi. If Tom Jones were here, I’d be embarrassed to report that it’s not unusual (I promise the jokes don’t get any worse). It may be…
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Food…and drugs…and drunk fishermen…
Before we reached the lion’s den we passed Malawi’s largest farmed area of rubber trees. Tapped, much like maple trees for their syrup, the rubber trees contribute to a healthy list of Malawian exports. The processing plant is a privatised, Indian-run establishment and looks like a sturdy and huge, dust-covered corrugated fort. I imagine it’s…
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Barbecuing Beer, Intelligent Pigeons and Chuck Norris…
At last! You say. This one isn’t about how terrible humans are to the unfortunate wildlings. I had goaded one of the more social park rangers to join us for a game of shot glass-battleships. It can’t all be elephants and heffalumps when in a colonial-style lodge! After our ranger had energetically announced that together,…
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Marrying Sharron…
Compared to a few other nations on the continent, Malawi has remained relatively peaceful. Even through the historically volatile and ongoing trials of Southern Africa, the people here remain extremely welcoming and friendly. Understanding life in places such as Malawi is one aspect to my travels. Ultimately though, sharing my experiences and hoping to bring…
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Mobile cash machines in a war zone
Life isn’t all covert operations, investigations into convolutions or apprehending unfortunate forest folk. In truth, as much as I enjoy and appreciate the experiences to understand what “protected wilderness” is, making the much required military-style efforts part of my adventurous lifestyle isn’t MY desired calling. It is however, why these parks are called PROTECTED. It…
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Should we accept a sad fate?
Six months ago, the village we found yesterday, where we apprehended a man, was burned to the ground and returned to the wild. We saw remnants of scorched earth, charcoaled shacks and blackened beams as we stealthily operated under the sparse forest canopy. The people living in the park are doing so illegally. There is…
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Jealous of my lifestyle? Read this one
Three sounds concerned me as I tried to fall asleep in the Kasungu bush. One, chickens. They shouldn’t be here. Two, gunshots. They weren’t for the chickens. And three, the sound of snoring. Nobody needs to hear that, especially any encroachers with their weapons. It’s also as hot a sauna, and I don’t fancy being…
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Hopefully, without getting shot…
Hopefully, without getting shot, stabbed, sliced with a machete or even just damaged by anything in the bush…. After an early start to pack our bags with appropriate and thoroughly checked equipment, we had to wait a few extra hours for the ranger to show up. Here, timekeeping is a rare skill and even if…
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Kasungu National Park
While at the triathlon in Cape Maclear, and through no late night liquid coercion, Bjorn and I accepted a welcoming invite from Matteau, Remi and Leonie to visit them in Kasungu National Park. Matteau currently runs the volunteer anti poaching unit, operating with the permission of the government and the Malawian department of national parks.…
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It was a success…. Nobody died!
Beyond the point of relaxation and drifting into a tired trance, I managed to stay up for another thirteen hours after a fifty hour+ sleepless journey from the U.S. to Cape Maclear. Helping my new friends, we made sure the bar had little left and I finally gave in to my pillow of dreams and…
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Just missing that haunting, panpipe-style, ding ding…
I’m normally a morning person, and here in Cape MacClear waking up isn’t too much of a problem. The natural sounds of the village children (not a Village People spin off band) resonate around the lakeshore and invade the ears like touring musical mice whistling into megaphones on a carnival float. Come 7am there’s normally…
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Skip this opportunity? Don’t be silly!
Outside of Lilongwe (Malawi’s capital) it’s hard not to feel like I’m in a remote place compared to the western world I’ve just left behind. The countryside vistas vary as we drive around the mid country; seemingly stereotypical, grass-roofed African villages are located everywhere with the occasional aluminium shelter shining in the sun. The dry,…
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Nobody ever accomplished anything alone…
Just before the end of my adventure across the United States in 2014, seemingly impressed by my intrepid spirit and wordsmithing, I received an email from a man I had briefly met a few years earlier. He requested I help him complete a couple of expeditions and begin some projects in some remote and relatively…
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Malawi: Africa’s Warm Heart
The last you saw of me was when I left Portland, OR. They even had a new carpet in the airport! Time to let you all know what in the world I’ve been up to on the African continent. Malawi to be precise. Strewn all over the editing table, my notes and tidbits are on…
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Survival on Arrival
After a fifty hour journey to Lilongwe, I didn’t know what to expect when I arrived. I had emailed my contact, without response six days prior and said that hopefully I would be on time. I only lost one item of luggage between the four flights (unnerving considering I only took two)! It could…
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Love shack & some morning wood.
I was bound to talk about love at some point… Conveniently, a friend in Skagway, where my ferry will sail from, tossed me an invitation to visit. New friendships across the U.S. erupted while I was on last year’s epic adventure, but this trip has been different for me. I have not been travelling alone…
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Into the Wild?
“The best beer I’ve tasted this side of the Rockies” that’s me, quoting myself. The 49th State Brewery, just off Parks Highway in Healy (north of Denali National Park and Preserve) was good enough to check twice, and just to confirm my thoughts, a third time in as many days. If you enjoy beer, you…
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Graham eats Molly. Stan takes one for the team!
Three wolves, countless bear, numerous moose, a curious arctic fox, eagle hoards, awkward stalks, migrating swans and geese, territorial osprey and various regal raptors, botherless bison, wolverine, tasty fish, elk, owls, beaver, all the colours of squirrel, porcupine, ptarmigan, mink, chipmunks, pika, ground hogs, ground squirrels, prairie dogs, stone sheep, deer, muskrat, turtles, beastly leeches…
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My dithering pensioner and I disagree a lot
My dithering pensioner and I disagree a lot. We’re extremely good at it. Naturally, our opposing political views are cause for regular debate, but we agree and disagree on probably an equal split. Appreciating and having patience over our differences rather than condemning them, and being able to argue freely, explains both our spats and…
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Leeches! Driving! Glaciers! (videos in Denali)
Speechless Views I caught a Leech. Brilliant! My favourite driving
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Like a drunk spider, trying to climb out of a bathtub…
Clearly a blogging mix up in the last post, written by either a randy drunk or a lethargic halucenogenist. A cup of tea and a hearty breakfast sorts any Englishman out. Travelling 136 miles east from Cantwell, the Denali Highway is 90% unpaved and climbs into and along the mountains of the Central Alaska Range.…
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If you’re only going to read one update….why not make it the weird, sexually frustrated one? It has My Little Pony in it…
We had our sights set on Denali for the mountainous scenery, the remote wildlife, the promise of expansive, lush landscape, and well, now that we’re here: Beer. The drive from Fairbanks to find a campsite in Denali is only a few hundred miles, but when you stop at the rather rustic and tasty 49th State…
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Civilised trimmings & techno Grumpiness
Roughly two months into the trip, and before leaving Fairbanks, we stayed a night in a hotel for the first time. You may think it was a luxury, an indulgence after completing the Dempster, or a miniature celebration on entering the U.S. again. It could be viewed as a civilised respite from the cramped living…
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Some attractive mature nudists
The drive south on the Dalton Highway was infinitely more interesting and enjoyable than heading north. Not only was the mosquito population higher toward the north end of the road – not past the sublime and lush north slope as it descends towards the chilling ocean – but the smoke had cleared from the Brooks…
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You may need some lubrication…
The strangest, unpleasant, oddly informative and most numbing feelings I have ever had as a tourist. The shuttle bus escorted a handful of curious people through the oil drilling facilities, and along 26 miles of badly maintained and bumpy gravel road to the Arctic Ocean. We received a brief description of what was going on,…
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Hoth does exist on Earth
A few dozen miles into the Arctic Circle lies the place where Luke Skywalker ventured out on his tauntaun… Beyond the first 300 miles of the Dalton Highway, seeing virtually no wildlife, as well as endless miles of wilderness-covering smoke, we began to see stretches of scenery north of the Brooks Mountain Range. A few…
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Almost at the Arctic Ocean (videos)
In the photo: I started at the small red dot and travelled on the blue line. I’m now at the large one on the north coast. Few updates on Deadhorse, Prudhoe Bay and the road south on their way.. Morning Update on the Dalton Still on the Dalton Almost at the Arctic…
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The Dalton Highway
There are three seasons in Alaska – Autumn, Winter, and; If the ground isn’t frozen, and if there isn’t a white out causing everyone to stay indoors for a few days (common at the north end of the Dalton Highway), it’s Road Maintenance season. When you think of a white out or an Arctic blizzard,…
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The Trans Alaska Pipeline
The kinky snake is as long as Great Britain (just over 800 miles) and transports oil from the Beaufort Sea in the Arctic, to Valdeze on the southern coast. The Trans Alaska Pipeline split the state from top to bottom in 1977 and was the most expensive, privately funded construction on earth. Although I can…
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I’ll make sure the minx is filthy again soon
After driving slowly past the least inconspicuous military air base in The World (I can say that now, as America advertises everything compared to “the world”) Fairbanks is the next city on the trail. For its location, the Eielson Air Base, just south east of Fairbanks, was established as part of World War 2 military…
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Tok on July 4th & a mile marker to note
Driving into the tiny town of Tok on the Alaska Highway at the beginning of the 4th of July carnival/caravan parade, is rather like accidentally walking into a meeting room containing your bosses, while discussing the sexual antics of ducks on the phone and not realising anyone else is in the room. Inappropriate, and badly…
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Rougher than grinding pebbles in a blender
Top of the World & Taylor Highway. Following the old sourdough track over the hills from Chicken, the views from most of the Top of the World Highway as we headed towards the U.S. border, were of pine forests as far as the eye can see – some of which replicates the fire damaged trees…
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I “beeped” out the expletives
This morning I was woken up by a loud, beeping alarm and KP coarsely saying “no, I don’t need you!” Unless signalling a fire, some carbon monoxide overload, burglary, an air raid, a morning when the sun isn’t going to rise (it does happen here), or worse, we’ve run out of tea, there really shouldn’t…
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Into the Arctic
We crossed into the Arctic Circle a little after 7am on July 1st 2015. The sodden, squelching tundra was forgotten briefly as it opened up into sparkling, dew-covered hills. From a distance, rather than early morning Arctic peaks, the approaching mountains resembled hazy, desert sand dunes. Although not gigantic, they possess their own, gently unassuming,…
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Mother Nature: The Temptress
There have been no obvious critters from the start of the Dempster, all the way to the Inuvik (750Km). The caribou cross the road twice a year on their migration – once in spring and once in autumn – but despite appreciating their time keeping, I’m slightly sad I won’t see them. It’s also correct…
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Wearing a woolly jumper and swimming through peanut butter
Day two on the Dempster and the road has been surprisingly good so far. Like many highways in the north country, it’s detailed as dangerous and not for standard vehicles. Compared to the rest of the country, the roads are unpaved, and indeed a little rough, but honestly, (especially in the summer) apart from a…
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I am literally a walking stick of candy floss wrapped in bacon
Industrious, vicious, relentless, and the size of birds – mosquitos in the Yukon are intrepid villains, seemingly programmed to insistently make my life a complete misery. As long as I’m around, getting their full attention, KP appears relatively fine, but even he has had a dozen bites on his head and hands since we started…
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I Lied
Dawson City is not the start of the Dempster Highway (but it is where the paddle boats from Whitehorse once steam powered to). Forty kilometres east of Dawson City, we found a petrol pump in a deserted gas station, at the start of the highway. KP had to go into a booth-like-Tardis and follow instructions…
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Whitehorse: An update for lovers….of murderous horses, my toilet time, and history
Arriving into a city isn’t normally such a wonderful thing, but since leaving dusty, Dawson Creek, Whitehorse is strangely, rather comforting. There are crowds of people, even in the rain. There is traffic to negotiate, and various city aromas fill the air (it’s amazing what civilisation stinks of). There are numerous places to fuel up,…
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Penetrating your Yukon…
Update from the river bank Penetrating Your Yukon Update prior to Heading North Productive day
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Intimacy with an orally fixated sheep
As if driving on the back of a grey millipede which is missing a few legs, the highway’s industrial limbs appear to be less common as we head north. I wouldn’t normally be so happy to see an insect with its appendages missing, but whichever bully decided to dissect the bumpy-backed diplopoda, I’d like to…
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Camouflaged, but not for my furry friends.
The start of the Alaska Highway from Dawson Creek constantly reminded me of how the north works – practically, hard, hands on, in extreme weather, overcoming the wild, and with no apologies. The industries up here are oil, gas, logging, infrastructure maintenance, and survival, and everyone seems to enjoy it a little rough around the…
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The Dithering Pot Boy and I
Waking up early in the morning and sporadically being bumped or swayed around in bed, as if on boat in a storm, is currently a normal experience. KP is always awake first between 4 and 5am, dressed and dithering, sorry – pottering around the camper like you would imagine a restless (although slightly slower and…
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The Alaska Highway – Dawson Creek
No punns or associative crying please – although, half expected, the start of the Alaska Highway is not what you’d call a metropolis, nor is it a picturesque country town. Dawson Creek (nothing to do with the TV show) is an oil workers farming town. It’s a hard, industrial boondock, strewn with combine harvesters, tractors,…
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Couple of videos through British Columbia
Leaving Jasper and heading through British Columbia. Wildlife update from inside the camper.
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Rainbows, Bears & Beaver, and all before the Alaska Highway!
The city of Jasper seemed another, slightly middle of the road version of Banff. Looking a little cheaper and more relaxed, and without everywhere being covered in an expensive, branded label. Although maybe it’s not quite summer yet. We left Jasper and his beloved Banff behind us and headed north, via a westerly bend. Our…
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I could have just written “wow”, but…
South of the city of Jasper, the Ent-paced sights conjure lucid scenes in my mind, of how the wild was constructed. My wandering from “wow” surprises even me sometimes… A dense pallet of green lushness currently blankets the valleys, as if Monet, with his admirable catterax affliction, had reached down from the skies and with…
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It’s beginning to get contemplative
The journey through Banff and Jasper National Park is like travelling through one euphoric postcard of Canadian landscape into another. Except without “Wish You Were Here” slapped across the sky in neon letters, and sometimes, quite frankly, I’m glad you’re not. The beauty I find in the wild is often in the remote and isolated…
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I need a pet Bat for this adventure…
I need a bat. The flying, insect-eating variety, not the sporting kind. Walking around with a cricket bat on a leash might be assuming a kind of crazy that can wait till I’m in my eighties. Although on reflection, it would give my flying bat something to cling to and sleep on, slung over my…
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Banff & Jasper, and a bit of blue for the dads
The massive, monstrous hotel at Lake Louise (Banff National Park) is a fine example of a failure of aesthetics. After the original wooden hotel/lodge burnt down in the late 19th century, it was rebuilt and extended. It is a construction disaster, in the most inappropriate location – and it upsets me. Most towns we have…
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The slightly ranty post…
I feel like I should judge Canada, while waving my judgy finger, for allowing such a sordid sin of commercialisation within a national park. Yet for some reason, I find Banff to be more of a community and thriving town rather than a specific, tourist-catering gift shop which pampers to the whims of tour buses…
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Reaching the Rockies
Since crossing the border into Canada, we’ve driven over 2000 miles across the prairies and we haven’t seen a single police car, police officer, or even a speed camera! They must be here, but it couldn’t be more different from the paranoid and profiteering, policed nation to the south, which I have been used too.…
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Even when it’s dull, it isn’t
Driving across the four principalities of Canada, or the few states across the centre of the USA if we had gone that route must surely be, some of the dullest driving on earth (as well as the M25 in rush hour, but at least you can get out and talk to your fellow, traffic jam…
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Do you have any guns?
After the elation of seeing Mr Wolf, it was time to cross the border into Canada. It wasn’t the strangest border crossing I’ve ever encountered, but it was in the middle of a working factory. We drove under an over-head pipeline and over multiple rail road tracks, snaking our way through the middle of an…
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I’m Russell Crowe… only without the lovely sandals
A sleepless start to the night as one of us left a slither of opportunity open for the “skeetos” to come after me as I tried to settle. They can smell me a mile way and just when I think we’ve pulled into a windy, waterless spot, KP is sympathising (although grateful it’s me and…
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Mackinac, the fudge, and rubbing myself against a cheese grater
The towns on the forehead of the Exogorth outline (well done if you worked out that obscure reference), are quite picturesque in the sunshine. Much of the monster’s brow, with roots steeped in French exploration and the American-Indian wars, built on the industries of mining, logging, and shipping, the towns today express a certain pride…
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Ocean-fronted home for napping bear
Our first day on the road was a shaky one. It was also the first time KP gave me the reigns to his four wheeled, fancy lady, and that reminds me, I don’t think she has a name! The drive from Clayton started beautifully. KP drove in the morning sunshine; along the sparkling St Lawrence…
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The world is full of generous, gin-loving ladies
I brushed shoulders with some old friends at the aptly named TILT picnic at Zenda Farms….because after all I’ve drank in the last two weeks, I feel like I’m on an obscure angle to the ground. I exaggerate….maybe it was the uneven farm yard. Christmas came early, as I forgot what I ordered from the…
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Cherry Pie, Bananagrams, and struggling to sober up
If my navigation in 2014 was a walk in the park, this year I’m jumping the fence. Although travelling mostly by automobile this time, I am aiming to travel across the USA and Canada, and out to the USA’s rape capital (six times higher than the national average, apparently) – Alaska. Everyday, is indeed, a…
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Butt Bulbs & Bucolic Beauty
After being chaperoned around twenty miles of the industrious and steaming streets of New York City by a marvellously-moustached, mounted park policeman, I journeyed the four hours north east, to Northampton, MA. Back on last year’s familiar trail, I ambled through this area over a year ago, when the ground was frozen, the bears were…
Not a Travel Blog 